Mom Guilt, The Real Silent Dream Killer

Image by:  Rylee Hitchner

Image by: Rylee Hitchner

Do not let your title of mother stop you from chasing your title of CEO
— Stacey Foley

Before you read any further I want you to take a moment and do something for me. I want you to congratulate yourself for the being the amazing mother that you are. You are a kind, strong, fierce, brave, loving, badass mother who wants nothing more than to make her children’s lives infinitely better than her own was growing up. You deserve a high five and a hug, so here’s to you mama!

Today I’m going to get real with you about something that I think is one of the worst plagues in female society, MOM GUILT. You know what I’m talking about. Those feelings you get when you are judged by both yourself and others for stepping outside of what is “normal” or “expected” of a mother. The thoughts that start to come through our minds thinking, “Am I going to screw my kids up by not being home every single moment of every day?”, “Are they going to become a serial killer because they spent their days in daycare?”, “Am I setting them up for a life of obesity by feeding them mac & cheese {from a box, gasp!} for the third time this week?”. Mom guilt comes in so many forms. Aside from our own self inflicting thoughts we also have to deal with the judgement of those closest to us. Whether it’s the other mom’s at school making a point of informing us that Betty Crocker is not home made {actually Linda I had to add eggs and bake it, that shits homemade}, to the disapproving teacher comments when you miss yet another field trip and my all time favorite, the constant array of long work hour comments.

MOM GUILT IS BULLSHIT. Not bullshit in the “it doesn’t exist way” but bullshit in the “it SHOULDN’T exist way.” It is hard enough on most days to keep children alive and healthy without the constant judgments that come at us from every angle. Not all women were born to be stay at home mothers {and I give mad props to those who are, you are the real superheros}. Some of us want to be painters, dentists, doctors, photographers and astronauts {thanks for killing that dream NASA}. We as little girls should be told that we can do whatever we want to, become whoever we want to, and when we do we should be celebrated. Not undermined and made to feel as though we’ve done something wrong. I’ll be the first brave woman to say it, I love my kids but I do not feel the need to be with them every single minute, of every single day. This mama needs a break. I need a quiet night out with my husband to remember what being sexy feels like. I need to laugh until I pee with my girlfriends, I need to have Kira massage me for one quiet, uninterrupted, blissful hour without someone saying “MOM!”.

Ladies, know this, it is OK, in fact it is healthy, to take a break from your children. When you are in the constant day to day life of being a mother, a wife, a business owner, an employee, a daughter etc, there comes a time when we need to stand up and say “I need some ME time” so I can remember who me even is anymore. It is ok to take an hour out of your Saturday to do whatever it is that feeds your soul and not for a second feel bad about it. And it is absolutely ok to chase your dream, build your empire, and save lives while your kids are safely in the hands of someone whose life goal is to raise kids and make babies because those amazing stay at home moms become our children’s caretakers and our life savers {thank you Melanie xo}.

So please mama, do not let the outside judgments of the world, or the inside voices of your mind, stop you from being who you were really meant to be. You are a blessing and the world needs your talent to be a better place. When we are able to chase our own dreams we are able to show our kids what strength and determination really look like. We are able to teach them that they, too, can be anything they want to be and mean it. I need you, the world needs you, do not make yourself smaller for anyone. Be BOLD. Be BRAVE. Be YOU!

*Can I also take a moment here to give serious thanks and accolation to the amazing husbands and men out there that can stand behind us fierce women and continue to love and support us as we chase our dreams. Those men that parent their children equally, that do bath time and bedtime, field trips and birthday parties when we are not able to. Those men that take pride in watching us succeed and cheer for us louder than we could cheer for ourselves. To all of the Donnie Foley’s in the world, thank you!*

Keep Inspiring XO,

Stacey